Conversations about

Yesterday a friend of mine I used to date was talking to me about the Tyra Banks show and how she dressed up as a 350 lbs woman and went on two blind dates.  To show how people treat overweight/large/obese folks. I didn’t see this episode, tho’ I tried to look it up online (I didn’t try that hard I was half sleep when I got off work)

He then commenced to ask me did I ever feel uncomfortable because of my size or if he had ever made me feel uncomfortable about it. Yanno that was the FIRST time we ever talked about it. Although I’ve been obvious a big girl for quite sometime; we never really talked about it…it sparked some thoughts tho. Just about my life growing up and my confidence. I started rambling on and on about how I dealt with being bigger as a teenager and young adult.

I really had sumfin I wanted to say about this topic – but I am so phreakin’ sleepy damn damn damn my part-time job…but yea’ when I get my check – I’ll be dancing like James Brown I got 15 hours already and its not even a week yet….

Back to my rant about being full-figured; I know it’s something that used to bother me greatly as a teenager. My Mom could always tell when I had a new crush – I’d be up extra early working out with, what is that ladies name? She’s always smiling and ish with blonde hair – dang it I am mad I can’t remember anyways…My Dad had some discouraging names he would call me – yanno back then folks thought they teased you enough you’d change….that works for some ppl and for others it doesn’t I guess. Being full-figured is just one aspect of who I am…through it all I am still loved and I am still blessed. Goal One is just to be healthy.  (DENISE AUSTIN!! That’s her name!!) I mean if we all were the same weight, height, shape – we’d be really BORING.  While we are on this topic – Saturday I was admiring myself in the mirror – I LOVE ME – I feel like I am getting more fabulous with age. I can’t explain it – its like I’m growing into my beauty (I am sure I’ve said this before it feels familiar) but that’s how I’ve been feeling… oh yea’ its interesting how the entire time we’ve been talking 8 years to date, we’ve never really talked about that – and it actually makes me smile to think that my radiant personality and beautiful smile kept that from being a topic – I mean it was so unimportant compared to the rest of me…*hehehe* oh yea I have another topic I need to hit this week too. . . but maybe I’ll put that on my yahoo blog…



Wasn’t it Eleanor Roosevelt who said, ”No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

So I haven’t been giving any consent out in the past and don’t plan on giving any out in the future – LOVE ME DAMMIT!!!

~Shai