When two becomes one...

….this weekend would have been my wedding weekend

So it’s raining here and I’m thinking to myself…wow this would have been the night of the rehearsal dinner. They calling for rain tomorrow, wow – rain on my wedding day I would have been crying for days. GOOD THING – we broke up! As far as the relationship goes I feel real indifferent about it. I mean I’m happy to be single to be able to do whatever I want without having to take into consideration someone else’s feelings. At the same time tho’ I’m bothered that I thought that this was it, that WE would be able to work things out. Because aside from the issues we both had e’rything was lovely. We’d laugh and have fun together….he was insecure and possessive. I was tired of looking at the same four walls e’ryday I wanted to be social. We are from different social classes but I figure that shouldn’t make a difference. In the truth of it all – it does make a difference.  Even tho’ I can run in any circle and find a level of comfort, he couldn’t. So my bourgeois friends/co-workers would often times make him feel uncomfortable….


during happier times, even tho - those times weren't really THAT happy



When we first broke up I was SO anti-love. Especially around valentine’s I bahum bugged e’rything. Then I started dating someone else with the strict stipulation that I wasn’t looking to be in a “relationship”; then ENDED up in one. Allowed things to go haywire – ended that – and just fell into another situation, that I put the brakes on real quick. I’m looking at this snowball effect of it all….and right now I’m feeling like ITS WHATEVA. Just doing me and having fun and if that means breaking a few hearts or hurting some feelings then - OH well; now I know that doesn’t sound positive at all….but what else do I do?  Sulk in the house eating cookie and cream ice cream like my mind gone bad? Or enjoy this life while I’m here?

I CHOOSE LIFE.

Some people seem to think I’m too picky, but when I get married it’s for keeps. I don’t believe in divorce. I believe in DEATH do us part, yes DEATH. (Take that how you want to) Both sets of my grandparents are still married. I want to have that long time love….I want or need someone who’s willing to work as hard as I do or harder. Ya feel me? Compliment me on all levels and I do the same. Open lines of communications and able to let me be me – I’m a complicated woman. Probably more complicated than most its going to take a special person to be able to adapt to me…I was told yesterday I was a FREE SPIRIT doesn’t that sound like free alcohol? *giggle*

I have had my moment of reflecting and I’ve mourn what could have been…now its time for FUN!!

Where the party at?