Public Service Announcement!!

I don't know WHO but someone has been either hacking into my email OR creating a new email address and POSING as me!

I had a friend said this person IM'd him cussing him out using an OLD YAHOO ACCOUNT

and someone else saying that I was emailing them pictures of my fiance' BOTH things I did not do

SO to clear the record I am posting all my OLD screen names and letting e'ryone who knows me know what CURRENT ways they can get in touch with me

Previous Yahoo Screen IDS

lavonicalayne

daprecus1

sweetcreamscile

strawberributtah (oh yahoo and aol)

strawberriwetkisses

loveshai

loveshai1976

sistacharity

the most current user name and the ONLY one I use (I have deleted all previous accounts) is BLUEZATTITUDE

also for hotmail(both accounts are active) its:

sacrificeone (my poetry email)

t_a_cotman (my business email)

since this person must know more about me than they should I have CHANGED my passwords on ALL my accounts including MYSPACE, FACEBOOK, CHOCOLATEBRIDES and most recently MULTIPLY. I will be changing my password e'ry week to keep potential trouble makers from f*cking wit me with HIGHSCHOOL BULL SPIT!

THIS HAS BEEN A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

Tabatha A Cotman - the one and ONLY!

Untitled

somewhere in the shadows of insecurity her love lingers

floating on storm clouds

hiding the warmth of bliss

vaguely she remembers yesterdays

where no care was too big to swallow her happiness

but today she brings her umbrella

trusting the impending cloud burst

curse the wretched weathering

sullen

she sulks in her actions

wondering their origin

while she waits for him

never before has she felt this manic

it must be love

or is it the obsession of things hope for

drown herself

in the fantastic future realties

that may never be

she lives for tomorrows coming as if the present didn’t matter

because tomorrow will always be better

yet today

today is the resting place

for torn hearts of disappointment

where emptiness resides

the home of despondent desires constantly seeking refuge

in acceptance

she gazes upon the vision staring back from the looking glass

her reasons for being, dim like old light bulbs

as she forgets why

reaching back for yesterdays happiness she falls flat

on the face of today’s misgivings

constantly blaming herself

for

following her heart

for

running on emotion

for

plain not thinking

for anything and everything

until she

can no longer bear the face staring back at her

tosses out the umbrella

walks into the storm ready for its unforgiving pressure

knowing that her sanity

rests in how she handles its weathering

knowing that her life

hangs in the balance

swinging from the noose of regret

knowing that tomorrow’s happiness is based solely

on how she handles today

and now is not the time for crying

now is not the time for tears

now is time to

man the F*CK up

Mama didn’t raise no chumps

Dust the bullsh!t off

And

Walk

A

Way

Never to look back.

Fantasies

You provoke my imagination

take me to the limit

I smile at my fantasy’s possible impossibilities

wondering

when will we

push the limits

to see how far we could really get

look past the obvious obstacles

make the impossible

possible

I can keep a secret

just as long as you whisper

right

where

“she” can hear it

spell out what it is you need from me

while you

gratify my insatiable

that is

if you have the stamina to

go there

willing am I to take the chance

just so I can experience

my imagination’s

impossible possibilities

fantasies made real

even if

its only for the moment

I’ll savor it

like it was my last breath

and when my lips curl to speak your name

the sweet taste of yesterdays

will forever stain my memories

if

only

we

take the chance

on fulfilling our fantasies.

T'Day

Loves Company

I heard him
Call me out my name
Like a number in a bingo hall
Within that very moment
Time
Stood sill
My heartbeat
Became the soundtrack of my life
Its melody was heavy and thick
I stewed over his coldness
Like New Orleans jambalaya
As the silence between us grew
I began to get pissed
Livid that I even had to deal with this shit
Even if it was my mess to fix
So I
Retraced my steps
Tried to find where I might have slipped cuz I know I’m smooth at this
Ya see
The way my lips move
Would defy the prowess of Gail Denver, Flo Jo, and Marion Jones
I knew I was wrong
But did I deserve this?
Blatant as my disrespect of his business
Was he of my name sake
Raped me his home invasion
I was judged and sentenced
In less than 10 minutes without commercial intervention
Why lie
Truth is
I’m that
Snitch b*tch you’d never tell a secret to
That silent assassin
You never see coming
That private dick
tryin to catch ya slip so I can bring home the bad news
I heard him
Call me out my name like
A number in a bingo hall
And I refuse to apologize
Make you my company
Call me
Misery

Luv Syck

Luv Syck

deep within the abyss of eternity
resides unconditional
sickened by cupid’s arrow sting
I sit
dazed & blind
while commuters drive by
screaming obscenities
so oblivious am I
to the world around me
yet before me
I see a blurred mass of distraction
draped in black
holding my life source
I think
SCREAM
NOW
but instead I cry
solid whole tears that shatter concrete and shake trees
unsatisfied is the hunger that pulls at my heart strings
so I try to fill the emptiness with substitutes
who swallow my energy
just so they can remain half whole
convince myself that THIS will do
until I feel the echoes inside
reminding me that I’m sick
hopeless
incurable
disgustingly so far gone
that if I wanted to turn back now
I wouldn’t know the way
even if I did
my illness would render me immobile
like today
where I sit
in rush hour traffic
wondering
why
you
don’t
love
me

Board Games

Have you hung ya mind out today or
Is it still wet with the nonsense
Implanted during your conditioning
U run the race
Trapped in the maze
Society placed you in
Constantly trying to push pennies
Thinking you’d soon fold dollars
Because there’s real truth in the adage
It takes money
To make money
But 5 cent ideas will never give you 5 mil returns
yet you hold firm to the scheme
re-up
to double up
and you’ll come up
so much that it becomes your anthem
re-up
to double up
and you’ll come up
pockets full of investment
trying to make the best of this
life you live
never realizing the limits you’ve placed
got in your own way
yet you continue to blame
the cards you were dealt
refusing to become
a sell out
to the system
that made you
its painstakingly obvious
you’ve let them win
drinking your pain
pissing away your prosperity
remaining stagnant
pulling down everyone else in the process
enough with the propaganda bull shit
lets get real with it
LIFE AIN’T EASY
And if you think for one second that it ever will be
Then
You
are beyond help
might as well kill yourself
because you’ve already become a statistic walking
its simply sickening
I can’t wrap my brain around your thinking
so I say this without the coat of sugar
it would normally take
for the easiest pill to be swallowed
WAKE THE F*CK UP
This is life
Either play by the rules
Or let the rules play you