Integrity

music: Neo-Soul playlist from Imeem


location: in HIGHland Springs baby!


mood: sugar high






so today one of my coworkers were released of their duties. I will not go into all of the specifics but it makes me think and wonder about our world and our integrity.

There has been times where I have done things I had NO business doing. Things that may have gotten me in jail or worse. But I was younger then, and I've grown and learned so much. As you become an adult and you move on to have a CAREER, not a job but a career where your reputation and character comes into play. That's when you step back and become more accountable for the things you do. We are no longer in high school, we don't just get "the tap" and then move on. Serious things happen, your whole life and livelihood are now at steak.

I am truly at a loss for words but I know that the ALMIGHTY has reason and purpose for everything. I am thankful that I still have a place I can call work and I look forward to whatever blessings the Creator has in store for myself and my Co-workers who are still there to hold the fort down. We are made of some good stock and I know that we will be able to do what needs to be done.

Keeping my integrity in check!

~Shai

Daily Inspirational Quote

“Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

The power of your intention, your intent, your word, is immense. We
might ascribe this effect to the power of prayer, to natural forces, or to our
will to create our desired outcome. In any case, use this power. Believe in what
you do as well as doing it.

“What we think, we become. All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world” Buddha

So I recently subscribed to this Daily Inspirational Quote email. The first quote is the daily quote; it then follows with some description and/or thought to follow it up. Then after that they present other quotes to support it. My very first email from this site www.dreamthisday.com blew me away. It really set my mood and my feeling for the day.

Your love is more powerful than your words or your actions.
- Jonathan
Lockwood Huie
We all tend to measure our worth by what we DO - the actions we
take. We also highly value what we SAY. However, the greatest impact we have on
our family, our friends, and our world is our kindness and love. A bowl of soup
served with love is a greater gift than a steak dinner served brusquely.

I am working on trying to clear my mind and allow anything but positive energy flow through. In previous years I was aspiring to keep it real and deal and focus only on the reality of things. I think now in living that way I seemed to center my thoughts on negativity. So with that being said here I am re-inventing myself in hopes that my actions become a trickle effect and that pushes out positivity in order to receive it in return.
As today’s daily inspiration noted, once you make a decision the universe conspires for it to happen. Well here it is, decision made, line in the sand! Time to live up to the HYPE!

Let’s Get It!

~Shai - “I am somewhat of a BIG deal”

its been a long time

There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness. - Friedrich Nietzsche

my husband sent this to me in a letter one time.
At the time I was really on this quotes thing and stuff that people have said in life. I had sent him a serious Bob Marley quote trying to help him make it through the day.

I haven't blogged like for real like I used to in quite some time. A part of that is being busy another part is being lazy. I haven't done a lot of things that I used to do.

In the last two years I have made some decisions that I truly regret. This is odd coming from someone such as myself. I have always been the type of person who makes a decision and stick to it and have been FULLY CONFIDENT in my decision. These last really as I think about it THREE years have been full of second guessing myself. It's funny it seems strangers know more about me and who I am than I do.

But I digress...
truth be told, I am tired. Tired of EVERYTHING but oh so THANKFUL for GOD who has kept me ALL this time.

prayerfully, instead of getting back to the Real Chic I knew back in they day prior to 01/05 ~ I pray that I EVOLVE into the Grown Woman GOD intended me to be. I am forever thankful for my life expierences and know that this is ONLY THE BEGINNING.

blessings

~Shai

Pushing the RESET button

As I drove into work this morning several things went through my head. I thought about how I am going to be off of work for the next 9 days and exactly what that meant to me. Then I thought about the all important “HIBERNATION OF SHAI” the time during the year where I just roll “solo for dolo” I haven’t really been able to do that since the fall of 2006. It seems like my life has been a runaway roller coaster filled with really high highs and really low lows.

As an update I got married on 01/03/09, my Great Aunt Mary died that following month, followed by my Grandmother Eunice in March, and the next month my Great Aunt Lou. After that I’ve been battling silent depression and trying to push forward with my life in general. It’s hard especially when two of those women had a significant impact on my life as a child growing into my womanhood. Women who wanted to see me married with children and build a prosperous life for myself. *sigh*

I was laid off Oct 2007 and finally secured a full time gig in the Health & Human Services sector March 2009. Finally I am happy with my work life. I enjoy what I do and look forward to learning new things daily. Marriage is definitely different from being boyfriend/girlfriend.

Lastly and most importantly my health, I’ve been diagnosed with Type II Diabetes since 2005 I want to say, the whole time I’ve been in denial about it. Because I’ve been borderline diabetic for quite some time and after taking a particular blood pressure medicine that actually made my sugar spike I was diagnosed with this diabetes. Because of all the stress that I’ve endured over the last year coming from ALL corners of my life here I am back with extremely high sugar levels and stroke numbers for my blood pressure. Really it is time to hit the RESET button.
So that is what I plan to do over my vacation. Create a goal list, start a vision board, and press the RESET button prayerfully this time things will truly START OVER a new.

8.18.2008 "here lies the remains of LOVE"

During the haunting of the bewitching hours
the sky was draped with a thick sapphire curtain
diamond pieces strewn against its backdrop
a beautiful night
where the sounds of the evening lulled her to sleep
she
had a peace painted on her face that anyone could see
this is where an angel lays
but for him, insomnia played with his brain
scattered was his thoughts as
he
held her tight
afraid that the dusk may take her away
with the night
in the bed that they shared
visions of possible infidelities pulled at his heart strings
could it be?
he
held her
close
because her misgivings were true
and they both knew
that with time
she
could be Swayze like Casper
but by then there would be nothing he could do
so now
he just held her
praying God would see fit to make her stay
praying that he could find forgiveness in her eyes
when he tried to explain away the why’s
with alibis
they both knew were empty of the truth
and he wondered would it be for naught
if she had already
done the very dreaded thing
that he had done to her
on so many different occasions
when his immaturity stole his ability to care
and his arrogance made it so
in his mind
she would always be there
so he laid
trying to calm the worry in his heart
with thoughts of the forever he promised her
hoping that she remembered
where
his
true
love
remained

untitled 02.24.09

my whole heart hinges on the frame set
promises, me
accepted, you
gifts are spiritual
intangible yes but easily held on to
daily is the battle
between
trust
and
truth
best kept
are secret weapons held rosary close
padded between red written script
unshakable
the faith stream
flows stronger with each new moon
guided we
by ancestry
clinging to
old good news
easily
sought
the devilish plot
harder still
the heaven in you
blinders
stay focused on the path ahead
see no
speak no
sear no
yet all the world knows
we
be
true like
accidental coincidence
instant replay
unnecessary
the heed
no need
we see beyond the seen
around the world and back again
promises, me
accepted, you
the frame set
onto
my whole heart
hinges

Untitled...02/18/09

writing from another POV

Can I French kiss your sexiness,
Only If
it pleased you miss?
I’ll be your pleasure slave
Act up
because you’ll make me behave
Relish the punishment like a gift
Every lick
Every kiss
Would magically heal all wounds
Oh Queen
How I beseech thee
Let me be
The only who can sup from your cup of humility
Respect given
wholeheartedly
But behind closed windows and doors
Bellow moans never heard before
drips the honey from the hive of desire
spreads the sweetness
that sets my soul on fire
unscathed in the blaze
remove all my past indiscretions
your love
is my lesson
no guessing
it’s with no question
that I want to feed the need the burns within me
only
if it pleases you miss
I would love to kiss
Your sexiness